This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by late Stephen R. Covey, writer of the most-effective personal development book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (first published 1989). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Grow!
“A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits: 1) Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
2) Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others; 3) Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone”
(Stephen R. Covey)
If achieving your goal requires an interdependent relationship, then the best strategy is the creation of a Win-Win situation. Covey categorizes human interaction with six paradigms:
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Paradigm
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What
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#1
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Win-Win
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Both sides win. Agreements, solutions, strategies are meant to be beneficial to both parties.
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#2
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Win-Lose (I Win, You Lose)
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These people always try to get their way, usually taking advantage of the situations or weak personalities.
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#3
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Lose-Win (I Lose, I Win)
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“It’s okay,” he says. People with this behavior mainly focus on popularity and social acceptance.
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#4
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Lose-Lose
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If I lose, you must lose too. When two Win-Lose, people are in the same environment and interact with each other, they both end up losing.
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#5
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Win-No-Matter-What
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As long as I win, it’s okay. People with this mentality don’t care if other people lose or not. What matters is that they win.
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#6
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Win-Win or No Deal
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If we both don’t win, we just don’t try it.
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As mentioned above, achieving Paradigm 1 has the biggest positive effects. Paradigms 2-4 have always negative effects in the long run for both sides. However, there are some cases in which Paradigms 2 and 3 may be suitable too, depending on the reality. Paradigm 5 doesn’t always guarantee the success. Paradigm 6 is a very good alternative to Paradigm 1 when it is impossible to reach a mutually beneficial agreement at that time.
Let’s Grow Together. Think Win-Win!
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