12 Rules for Life #1 Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

"To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood, where finitude and mortality are only dimly comprehended. It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality [it means acting to please God, in the ancient language]"

(Jordan B. Peterson)

Some people have bad posture and that is much more meaningful than you may have thought it would be. Peterson takes the behavior of lobsters as an example. Lobsters can change their behavior according to their serotonin/octopamine levels (Simply put, or maybe too simplistic, serotonin is a happy-hormone and octopamine function as "mobilizing the body and nervous system for action"). Lobsters fight all the time. When a lobster wins, its serotonin levels go up in contrast with octopamine levels. On the other hand, low serotonin/high octopamine lobsters are characterized as losers and are very likely to vanish at the first hint of challenge that would bring them trouble.

A similar effect applies to people. Peterson writes, "This is also true of lower ranking human beings. Low serotonin means decreased confidence, means closed in body language, means you're not gonna stand up straight with your shoulders back. Low serotonin means less happiness, more pain, more anxiety, more illness, a shorter lifespan. High spots in the dominance hierarchy and high serotonin levels are characterized by the opposite." As soon as we meet someone, we size him up to see where they fit in the social hierarchy. When serotonin levels fall, depression appears and also a tendency to form a hump (bend, bow) as you walk become visible to others. Instinctively, they are very likely to think low of you, making you one of the easiest targets if they decide to take advantage of someone. Acting like a loser will make people think of you as a loser. Fixing your posture may be very simple, but "very important at the same time to help you get started back up again."

So, stand up straight with your shoulders back and dare to express your thoughts and desires. You have at least the same right as others, if not bigger sometimes.

Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back!

With Winning In Mind: Mental Rehearsal (Chapter 6)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Lanny Bassham's With Winning in Mind (2012) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“In mental rehearsal you are picturing what you want to see happen before you actually perform. You go over in your mind exactly how you want your performance to be conducted. In rifle, looking through the sights, centring the target, and firing the shot in the ten ring. The more vivid the picture, the better the outcome. The more often you rehearse, the better the chance for success”
(Lanny Bassham)

Mental rehearsal is simply visualizing your performance or behaviour in your mind. You can mentally rehearse giving a speech, shooting free-throw, hitting grand slam, writing an exam, or anything else. The benefits are threefold:

1) You are practicing: Mental rehearsal is mental practice. Maybe it’s not as good as actually practicing, but Lanny says it’s a great substitute when actual training is not possible due to weather, injury, or time limitations.

2) No negative reinforcement: Because you only rehearse good performances, there is no negative reinforcement. It’s 100% purely positive reinforcement (which is almost impossible during actual training).

3) It reduces fear: This is neat. When you’ve been in a stressful situation often, the stress or fear you encounter diminishes over time (Think about the first speech you’ve ever made. I bet you were more nervous than in your 10^th speech, right?). Rehearsal reduces fear because it gives you mental experience in a pressure situation. Lanny claims that he’s competed in the Olympic Games twice physically, but thousands of times mentally.

Keep in mind that you mentally rehearse the process of your performance,

NOT the outcome.

Have A Winning Mindset!

How to Nurture Your Child to Be Creative #7 Make Them Feel Safe

The emotional stability of the world we create for children will have a huge effect on how creative they are. Long-standing research reveals children need emotional stability before they begin to express themselves.

In his classic work, psychologist Abraham Maslow set out what is termed as a Hierarchy of Needs. His theory is generally illustrated as a pyramid, setting out the different kinds of needs people must meet before they can move up to the next level. At the very bottom, we must meet our physical needs – to be warm, fed and safe. Moving up the pyramid, we then have to meet our basic psychological needs – to be loved, and have a sense of belonging and to feel confident. Only when all of these needs are met, according to Maslow, can we begin to be creative, spontaneous and solve problems.

Making sure children are warm, fed, safe and loved is something that most parents do as a matter of course. But by doing these things, and by paying careful attention to your child when they seem anxious and doing your best to reassure them that they are safe and protected, you are instinctively playing a huge part in nurturing their creativity!

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Change Your Life: Focus on Strengths and Abilities

“It’s abilities, not disabilities that count”
(Peter Drucker)

Individuals who invest in their strengths are happier and more successful. This does not mean that we should ignore our weaknesses but, rather, that our primary focus ought to be that which we are naturally good at. In the words of leadership expert Peter Drucker, “Only when you operate from strengths, can you achieve true excellence.”

The kind of questions that I have to ask myself if I am to discover my strengths are: What are my strengths? What am I naturally good at? Where do my talents reside? What are my unique abilities? These questions are significant for choosing general life goals (being a writer, becoming a teacher, and so on) as well as for choosing to apply my strengths in the immediate future (prepare a sermon for my students, hone my creative skills, plan a vacation, and so on).

Again, it’s true that we should not ignore our weaknesses – we need to learn to write, do basic arithmetic, and acquire some skills at work just to get by in the world; at the same time we must not ignore our strengths – and invest most of our efforts cultivating our talents and abilities. We need to invest in our weaknesses so that we can survive in the world; we need to invest in our strengths so that we can thrive.

Take some time to think about your strengths, those things that you are good at, those areas where your talents reside. Once you identify your strengths, find ways to use them more often in your daily life. 

Don’t dwell on weaknesses and deficiencies

Focus on strengths and abilities.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!

2. Now, Discover Your Strengths by D.O. Clifton and M. Buckingham (New York: Free Press, 2001)

Change Your Life: Be Hopeful and Optimistic

a movie

Tal Ben-Shahar in his book Choose the Life You Want writes that until 1954, running the mile under four minutes was considered a physical impossibility. Doctors and scientists all agreed that the four-minute mark represented the physiological limit of human ability. The best runners in the world confirmed the experts’ view by closing in on the four-minute mile but never bettering it. Runners spoke of the “brick wall,” an impenetrable barrier that existed at the four-minute mark.

Despite the prevailing conventional wisdom, Roger Bannister, a medical student at Oxford University, believed that he could run a mile in under four minutes. He was dismissed by other athletes and the scientific community as detached, unrealistic. On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister broke the world record for the mile, running the distance in three minutes and fifty-nine seconds. The impossible had become reality! But there is more: only six weeks after Bannister’s achievement, John Landy, an Australian runner, ran the mile in three minutes and fifty-eight seconds. A year later, three runners broke the four-minute barrier in a single race. Since 1954, the four-minute mile has been surpassed thousands of times. The impenetrable barrier, it turned out, was a product of the mind – and it was broken by the mind.

The lesson to be learned from this story is that our beliefs – whether we are optimistic (I can!) or pessimistic (I can’t…) – play a significant role in creating our reality. This does not mean that we can throw reality out the window and that everything that we hope and wish for will come true, but it does imply that being hopeful and optimistic about life and believe in one selves can make it happen. George Bernard Shaw once says, “You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’” Where do your beliefs limit you? What barriers can you overcome on your way to fulfilling your dreams?

Don’t be a pessimist,

Be hopeful and optimistic.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Change Your Life: Make a Difference

Pay It Forward is a 2000 American drama film based on the novel of the same name by Catherine Ryan Hyde.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,

Committed people can changed the world.

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has”

(Margaret Mead)

Don’t resign yourself to the status quo – make a difference. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of serious problems that our world is facing. The falling standards in education, the rise in corporate scandals, the economic crisis in Malaysia and the world – not to mention wars, pollutions, and terrorism. How can I, one person among so many, make a difference? How can I, with my shortcomings and insecurities, possibly bring about meaningful change? While it is true that much of what happens in the world is beyond our control as individuals, our capacity to bring about change is greater than we imagine.

I can make a world of difference – if I choose to put my mind and heart to a cause, and take action.

Tal Ben-Shahar writes: In the movie Pay It Forward, a schoolteacher assigns his class the task of finding a way to bring about positive change in the world. Trevor, one of the students, decides to do three good deed for others – three acts of random kindness – and in return ask them to do three good deeds for three other people, who will be asked in return to do the same for others, and so on. If every person who has just been helped pays this help forward to three others, then within twenty-one rounds, everyone on earth would have been helped. The movie follows Trevor and shows how his acts create a positive ripple effect that touches numerous people whom he never meets in profound and meaningful ways. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can changed the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Make a positive difference in the world. Pay forward what has been given to you, and encourage others to do the same. You can make a difference!

Don’t resign yourself to the status quo,

Make a difference.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012)

2. Change the World: How Ordinary People Can Achieve Extraordinary Results by R.E. Quinn (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000)

Change Your Life: Carry Yourself with Strength and Confidence

“A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind”

(Morihei Ueshiba)

When we walk into a room with slumped shoulders, dragging our feet, or with our head down, we communicate lack of confidence and energy. When we enter with a natural posture, with a strong stride, shoulders open and relaxed, we send a very different – and positive – message to those around us. So crucially, the way we hold our body sends a message not only to others but also to ourselves. When we walk like someone who is confident, we actually become more confident; the physical act of sitting up straight actually boosts our motivation and increases our energy; when we shake hands firmly, we become assertive.

Assuming the posture of how we would be if we were more assertive and energized in fact boosts our confidence and invigorates us. Our behaviour changes our attitude. Sit up straight. Walk confidently. Carry yourself in a way that communicates to the world – and to yourself – strength and confidence.

Don’t neglect your posture,

Carry yourself with strength and confidence.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012)

2. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field by N. Branden (New York: Bantam, 1994).

Be Creative: Let’s Get Started!

“Creativity with Food” by Hong Yi 

“One is not born a genius, one becomes a genius” (Simone de Beauvoir)

Creativity cannot be taught in the way that you can teach maths – nor by merely reading books or thru this blog articles – but it can be encouraged to grow and cultivate. If you decides to be creative, you’re conditioning yourself to be creative and welcoming good ideas into your mind. You don’t need to be a genius like Albert Einstein or cleaver like Edward de Bono or multi-gifted and talented like Leonardo da Vinci, all you need to do is to open yourself to the creative spirit that lies within you. Everybody have the capacity to be creative. So, be confidence and get started!

Here are some tips from Robert Allen, author of How to Be a Genius, on how-to fan your creative spark into a flame:

§  In future, all your ideas (however trivial they may seem) have to be collected and kept. You never know when an idea will come in handy, or when something that seemed unimportant when you first thought of it will suddenly become of vital importance.

§  Pick some creative projects to get yourself started. It helps to have several projects on the go at the same time, as they tend to cross-fertilize each other. It also helps if the projects are of quite different types.

§  Work on your project regularly and methodically. Don’t ever just sit around waiting for inspiration. If one project gets bogged down, turn to another and work on that. Make sure that you set yourself goals and deadlines – if you don’t do this, you may find that you run out of steam and fail to finish things you’ve started.

§  Try to keep your attitude as flexible as possible. Your subconscious mind has an agenda of its own and, in order for your efforts to succeed, you need to prepared to change your plans to accommodate whatever your subconscious prompts you to do.

§  Remember to have fun! Creativity is hard work but it is also enjoyable. Don’t get so focused on attaining your goal that you forget to enjoy the creative process.

§  Remember that having bright ideas, though very important, is only a part of the creative process. Once you have the idea you then have to work hard to bring it to fruition. This is the part of the process that defeats many would-be creative people. They enjoy the processes by which bright ideas are born but lack the energy to see their project through to the end. What a waste of good ideas! Make sure that you are a worker as well as a dreamer.

Be creative, let’s get started!

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Characteristics of Creative Person

Conan O’Brien expresses himself for Fast Company’s Most Creative People issue (June 2011). 

This is funny!

Creative people are idealistic, energetic, confident, independent, thorough, adventurous, child-like, possesses a sense of humour, are perseverance and spontaneous and are risk-takers. Do you possess any one (or more) of these characteristic? If you do, then you are a creative person.

Creative people are independent thinkers. They can work by themselves and are not afraid of what people may say. They transcend accepted patterns of thinking. They do not conform to rules and regulations that restrict their freedom to think and act. They do not follow the crowd. People who are creative are full of energy. They possess a certain characteristic zest and a habit for spontaneous action. Creativity requires energy. Energetic people have the power and stamina to create new ideas, new things and new journeys.

Creative people are more likely to engage in adventurous and stimulating acts such as kayaking, mountain climbing, going places in rural areas or working overseas. They trod the unbeaten path. They have a strong curiosity and urge to understand the world around them and to try almost everything. Hence their wide interests and unusual hobbies. A sense of self-confidence is central to creativity. One cannot create if one is not confident of one’s abilities and capabilities. Self-confidence is not only inborn but it may also be developed through experience and exercise.

People who are creative are also playful and child-like. They have no prejudices and are not tainted by adult notions of what is proper and not proper. They are still full of wonder and are not afraid of criticism and comment. They are not bound by convention. Creative people are non-conformists to some extent. A sense of humour is another attribute of creative people. Humour may lead to great discoveries, invention and artistic creation. A fanciful, playful and excitable state of mind is an important feature of creative thinking and creative thinkers. Developing the ability to see the humorous side of life is a prerequisite to creativity.

A strong sense of perseverance, persistence and unwillingness to give up is another characteristic of creative people. They do not give up so easily or so readily. They will try again and again. Each failure is viewed as a learning experience. Creative people also risk-takers. Risk is everywhere. We take risk while driving to work, while playing games and when giving an opinion. If we do not try out new ideas and take risk, how do we know it will work or not? The greatest failure is not to attempt a new idea at all. The world’s greatest inventors, discoverers and pioneers are all risk-takers. Because they have independent mind and high-confidence in themselves, they are more willing to take creative risk than the average person. They dare to differ, to make changes and to deviate from the usual.

Are the characteristics enumerated above innate or are they acquired? The answer is – both. We are born with creative characteristics and we can learn to be creative too. Creative abilities exist in varying degrees in everyone of us. It is a matter of getting these abilities to surface and make them work for you. Creativity is within every one of us. It not the exclusive possession of a select few*.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

*These characteristic are taken from Leo Ann Mean’s On Creativity: Awaken the Creative Mind (Chapter 2: Creative Person). Use and modified without permission. That’s what creative people do.

Barriers of Creativity #10: "I'm Not Creative"

Creativity, like common sense, is supposed to be common. Creativity is natural and spontaneous. Yet it is not exhibited as frequently as it should. Experts believe that there are several reasons for this. These reasons are called ‘Barriers to Creativity’. ‘Barriers’ are the thing that stop us from thinking creatively and the reason that make us not as creative as we should be.

Barrier #10: “I’m Not Creative”

Thinking and believing that you are not creative is the most damaging barrier to creative thinking. It is a self-fulfilling prophesy. Believing that you are not creative make you think and behave not creative. It is a mental block. We give up even before the battle is fought.

People who think they are not creative never put themselves in a position where they could use their natural creativity. They do not allow themselves to get into an imaginative frame of mind. The creative person has the confidence and faith that his ideas will go somewhere.

We are all creative!

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

*These 10 barriers to creativity are taken from creativity expert Roger Von Oech’s A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative book. Summaries mine.