With Winning In Mind: Catch Yourself Doing Something Right (Chapter 5)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Lanny Bassham's With Winning in Mind (2012) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“Stop catching yourself doing things wrong and trying to find out why you are failing. Instead, only think about your successes, never your failures. An example is a golfer. The mentally uninformed golfer hits a good shot and says, ‘Well, I guess I just got lucky that time.’ When he hits a bad shot he says, ‘Why do I always do that?’ The mentally informed golfer hits a bad shot. He knows it is bad, but says, ‘Next time I will hit a better shot.’ Then he hits a good shot and says, ‘That’s a good shot. What did I do right?’ See the difference?”

(Lanny Bassham)

Instead of catching ourselves doing something wrong, let’s from now on catch ourselves doing right and improve our chances of repeating that positive behavior in the future. You can catch yourself doing anything right. Be it cleaning your room, studying, reading, meditating, being kind to someone, having fun, practicing something… whatever it is: Catch yourself and pat yourself on the back. Applaud yourself. Better yet, celebrate yourself.

“I know it’s counterintuitive,” writes Bassham, “but that’s because our society is seriously messed up. We’re all programmed to focus on the negative, to complain, to make excuses, to behave like little bitches, and to use negative reinforcement. Let’s stop that.” Instead, be nice to yourself and others, focus on the positive, talk about the good things in life, and positively reinforce them.

Have A Winning Mindset!

How to Choose Optimism #5 Put Things in Perspective

Why take the full force of everything that happens to us? Instead, take a step back and put an event into perspective by comparing it with others that we have experienced. That’s not distancing ourselves from reality – it’s actually giving its rightful place. To those who doubt this, I recommend listening to the stories of people who had cancer from early period and who were fighting and even finding new reasons to live and hope. I’ve been with students at hospital and most of them displayed incredible desire to improve their mindsets.

Joel Osteen, a motivational teacher, once said: “Nothing happens to you, it happens for you. See the positive in negative events.” When things happen “to” you, you feel helpless and victimized. However, if you look at things as happening “for” you, then you take some of your power back. This allows you to look at the lessons and blessings (a.k.a. silver linings) within anything you might experience. Give the right and positive perspective from your experience.

How important are your frustrations and upsets, really?

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Change Your Life: Seek the Win-Win

In his book The 7 Habits, Stephen R. Covey puts #4: Think Win-Win

“There’s plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. An Abundance Mentality involves sharing prestige, recognition, profits, and decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity”

(Stephen R. Covey).

In most dispute – whether a minor argument or a major relational conflict – it is possible to find a solution that benefits both sides. When I set out to fight and defeat my opponent, I end up expending a great deal of energy and resources on destroying rather than on creating maximum value. Moreover, entering a dispute with a win-lose approach often leads to a similar approach being adopted by the other party. As a result, both of us may end up losing.

When I show goodwill and a desire to help, I invite similar behaviour from the other. When we put our joint resources, our mind and heart, to the task of increasing the benefits to the individual and the group, we stand a better chance of success – for all who are involved. The pleasure of winning when the other side loses is short-lived; the joy of a win-win outcome lasts a great deal longer, and often creates the basis for yet another round of positive experiences.

The next time you (and I have to remind myself very strongly because I’m naturally a very competitive person) interact with someone, whether the context is a cooperative or a ministerial or a competitive one, think about how you can both benefit, how you can both win.

Don’t focus on defeating the other

Seek the win-win

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!

2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (New York: Free Press, 2004)

Change Your Life: Make a Difference

Pay It Forward is a 2000 American drama film based on the novel of the same name by Catherine Ryan Hyde.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,

Committed people can changed the world.

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has”

(Margaret Mead)

Don’t resign yourself to the status quo – make a difference. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of serious problems that our world is facing. The falling standards in education, the rise in corporate scandals, the economic crisis in Malaysia and the world – not to mention wars, pollutions, and terrorism. How can I, one person among so many, make a difference? How can I, with my shortcomings and insecurities, possibly bring about meaningful change? While it is true that much of what happens in the world is beyond our control as individuals, our capacity to bring about change is greater than we imagine.

I can make a world of difference – if I choose to put my mind and heart to a cause, and take action.

Tal Ben-Shahar writes: In the movie Pay It Forward, a schoolteacher assigns his class the task of finding a way to bring about positive change in the world. Trevor, one of the students, decides to do three good deed for others – three acts of random kindness – and in return ask them to do three good deeds for three other people, who will be asked in return to do the same for others, and so on. If every person who has just been helped pays this help forward to three others, then within twenty-one rounds, everyone on earth would have been helped. The movie follows Trevor and shows how his acts create a positive ripple effect that touches numerous people whom he never meets in profound and meaningful ways. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can changed the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Make a positive difference in the world. Pay forward what has been given to you, and encourage others to do the same. You can make a difference!

Don’t resign yourself to the status quo,

Make a difference.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012)

2. Change the World: How Ordinary People Can Achieve Extraordinary Results by R.E. Quinn (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000)

Change Your Life: Choose to Choose

Don't just go with the flow in choosing college: What's your interest?
What's your dream? What's suit your talent and passion? Choose to choose.

“Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege.
Use it. Dwell in possibilities” (Oprah Winfrey)

Lately I’ve noticed that a lot of conversation about dealing with the stresses of modern life seem to conclude with someone advising that we should all stop worrying so much and trying so hard, that we should go with the flow and “just live our life.” Sometimes this is good advice, as many things are beyond our control and worrying about them will not make any difference. And we can often be so focused on the future that we miss out on all there is to enjoy in the present moment. But this advice has a serious downside: “Just live your life” can lead us to turn our back on our most sacred privilege, our ability to choose our own path. In the guise of freeing us from stress and struggle, “just live your life” can actually have the sinister effect of preventing us from making the most of our life.

When the injunction to just live our life becomes a license not to choose, we end up being pulled along by other’s choices, simply behaving the way we always have in the past, passively reacting to life rather than actively creating the life that we really want to be living. To make the most of our life, we must first of all choose to choose – this is the fundamental choice underlying all other choices. We must commit ourselves to the idea that there are far more possibilities than we normally see, and then to the effort that it takes to examine these possibilities and choose the one that is best for us.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012)

2. Think! Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in the Blink of an Eye by R. M. LeGault (New York: Threhold Editions, 2006)

                                                                     

Nurture Creativity: Never Lose a Holy Curiosity

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

(Albert Einstein)

All of us come into the world curious. Since the day we were born we have within us an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. When we were babies, we love to explore and learn new things. We were like little (mad) scientists who innocently enjoy experiment with everything in our environment. As soon as we can start to speak, we ask question after question, “Why the sky is blue?” “Where I’m coming from?” “Why I need to eat?!” When my little cute cousin asked me a question, I answered it, she then have a dozen more questions after that. Unstoppable!

In his book Think Like Da Vinci, Michael J. Gelb said that as a child, Leonardo Da Vinci possessed an intense curiosity about the world around him. Da Vinci wrote this on his notebook: “Do you not see how many and how varied are the actions which are performed by men alone? Do you not see how many different kinds of animals there are, and also the trees and plants and flowers? What variety of hilly and level places, of springs, rivers, cities, public and private buildings; of instruments fitted for man’s use; of diverse costumes, ornaments and arts?”

Elsewhere Da Vinci adds: “I roamed the countryside searching for answers to things I did not understand. Why shells existed on the tops of mountains along with the imprints of coral and plants and seaweed usually found in the sea. Why the thunder lasts a longer time than that which causes it, and why immediately on its creation the lightning becomes visible to the eye while thunder require time to travel. How the various circles of water from around the spot which has been struck by a stone, and why a bird sustains itself in the air. These questions and other strange phenomena engage my thought throughout my life.” What a curious man! No wonder he is known today as the greatest of all geniuses. He was intensely curious. Never stop.

All great thinkers and creatives, like Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison and Richard Feynman never stop asking confounding questions with the same intensity throughout their lives. Their bodies may grow old but their minds are like children with “an insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning” as Michael J. Gelb defines curiosity in his book. “I have no special talent,” said Albert Einstein, “I am only passionately curious.” If you want to nurture your creativity – be curious. Curiosity makes your mind active and you will become more observant of new ideas. It also opens up new possibilities and brings excitement into your life. For me, being curious is not only to gather more information or for the sake of being smart, but it is a way of learning something new.

To be more creative, you need to possess an intense curiosity. Donald Latumahina, Lifehack expert, suggests 6 tips to develop curiosity: 1) Keep an open mind. To be open to learn, unlearn and relearn; 2) Don’t take things as granted. Dig deeper beneath the surface of what is around you; 3) Ask questions relentlessly. What, why, when, who, where, and how are the best friends of curious people; 4) Don’t label something as boring. Curious people are unlikely to call something as boring; 5) See learning as something fun. Look at life through the glasses of fun and excitement and enjoy the learning process; and 6) Read diverse kinds of reading. It will introduce you to the possibilities and excitement of the other worlds which may spark your interest to explore them further. I loves this quote from Albert Einstein: “The important thing is not to stop questioning… Never lose a holy curiosity.”

Yes, never lost a holy curiosity.

Idea is here all along, waiting for someone to ask.

God, Gives Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Be Creative: Let’s Get Started!

“Creativity with Food” by Hong Yi 

“One is not born a genius, one becomes a genius” (Simone de Beauvoir)

Creativity cannot be taught in the way that you can teach maths – nor by merely reading books or thru this blog articles – but it can be encouraged to grow and cultivate. If you decides to be creative, you’re conditioning yourself to be creative and welcoming good ideas into your mind. You don’t need to be a genius like Albert Einstein or cleaver like Edward de Bono or multi-gifted and talented like Leonardo da Vinci, all you need to do is to open yourself to the creative spirit that lies within you. Everybody have the capacity to be creative. So, be confidence and get started!

Here are some tips from Robert Allen, author of How to Be a Genius, on how-to fan your creative spark into a flame:

§  In future, all your ideas (however trivial they may seem) have to be collected and kept. You never know when an idea will come in handy, or when something that seemed unimportant when you first thought of it will suddenly become of vital importance.

§  Pick some creative projects to get yourself started. It helps to have several projects on the go at the same time, as they tend to cross-fertilize each other. It also helps if the projects are of quite different types.

§  Work on your project regularly and methodically. Don’t ever just sit around waiting for inspiration. If one project gets bogged down, turn to another and work on that. Make sure that you set yourself goals and deadlines – if you don’t do this, you may find that you run out of steam and fail to finish things you’ve started.

§  Try to keep your attitude as flexible as possible. Your subconscious mind has an agenda of its own and, in order for your efforts to succeed, you need to prepared to change your plans to accommodate whatever your subconscious prompts you to do.

§  Remember to have fun! Creativity is hard work but it is also enjoyable. Don’t get so focused on attaining your goal that you forget to enjoy the creative process.

§  Remember that having bright ideas, though very important, is only a part of the creative process. Once you have the idea you then have to work hard to bring it to fruition. This is the part of the process that defeats many would-be creative people. They enjoy the processes by which bright ideas are born but lack the energy to see their project through to the end. What a waste of good ideas! Make sure that you are a worker as well as a dreamer.

Be creative, let’s get started!

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

How to Maximizing a New Idea

Danny Cox write in his book Seize the Day, “Even as new ideas are being developed, their horizons should be stretched. The world is full of useful products that resulted from attempts to solve problems that had nothing to do with the idea’s ultimate application. Part of remaining open to new ideas is to remain open to new applications. In finding broader or different applications for new ideas, you can also recruit support from other sectors that wouldn’t have had any previous reason to be involved.” Then he outlines few questions that we should ask ourselves about the new idea:

Can the idea be put to uses other than the use it was originally designed for?

Can the idea be modified in any way?

Can the idea be reduced in scale or expanded?

Can the idea be upgraded?

Can the idea be substituted?

Can the idea be rearranged?

Can the idea be reversed?

Can the idea be combined with another idea?

Then before you launched your new idea, ask also the following questions.  These questions are helpful guide to making a go or not go decision on a new idea:

Does the new idea make better use of most peoples’ time, talent and energy?

Does the idea improve operations or product quality?

Does the new idea cut waste or unnecessary work?

Does the new idea improve working conditions and customer service?

A new idea doesn’t have to solve the problems of the world to be worth the shot. As long as a creative new concept meets the criteria set forth, it’s a valuable addition to your life. You will always have to use your best judgment and exercise discrimination. That’s simply part of being a responsible person. I know you can do it!

Maximize your idea.

“The answer is out there,” Thomas Edison said, “Find it!”

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Characteristics of a Creative Person #2: Open to as Many Alternatives as Possible

“The best way to get a good idea is to get a lots of ideas”

(Linus Pauling)

People who are closed off to new ideas and suggestions don’t make many friends. They also don’t make good bosses, employees, spouses, parents, teachers, ministers, youth workers, etc. Creative people are never threatened by new ideas. On the contrary, they encourage new ideas and outlooks. A creative person appropriates time to hear and absorb new and off-beat solutions.

Listening and considering the new and the unorthodox doesn’t mean that you must act irresponsibly and do weird things just to call yourself creative and inquisitive. You might end up adopting very little of what you hear and learn. However, being open to the earth-shattering proposal when and if it comes is how you make opportunity in life. As you know, people can’t actually manufacture opportunities. Making opportunity in life refers to the manner of living that remains open and ready to great new ideas when they emerge. Being vigilant and prepared is impossible when your eyes, ears and mind are closed.

Creative people are open to as many alternatives as possible

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

*I recommend you to read Danny Cox and John Hoover’s Seize the Day (Book-mart Press, 1994), “Step Two: Developing Strengths” page 77-118.