Secret of the Millionaire Mind: Wealth File #7 Rich People Associate with Positive, Successful People

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by T. Harv Eker’s Secret of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth (2005) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

Wealth File #7:

Rich People Associate with Positive, Successful People.

Poor People Associate with Negative or Unsuccessful People.

Why reinvent the wheel? “The fastest and easiest way to create wealth,” said Eker, “is to learn exactly how rich people, who are the masters of money, play the game.” If you want to fly with eagles, don’t swim with the ducks! Why reinvent the wheel? The logic is simple: If your goal is to be rich, then study the rich people. Do what they do. There is a reason why they are rich. The easiest way of studying them is being near to them. It’s simple. It’s similar to entering the corridor (refer to the previous post) to get to know the business. From the inside, you learn much, much more in much, much less time. Again, if you want to be rich, model rich people. If you want to be a great leader, for another example, then model great leaders! This is logic: If you take the exact same actions and have the exact same mindset, chances are good you will get the exact same results.

Another way to say this wealth file is associated with people who have achieved what you want to achieve. They know a lot. They know how to act and what to do. They have the skills needed to succeed. Associate with them, study them. Let’s take an example from the animal kingdom if a chicken just swims with the ducks, how is it going to learn how to fly like an eagle? Guess what, it’s not… and the same holds true for you. If you hang out with poor people* only, you’re never going to be rich (By hangout with the rich, this can also mean ‘hangout’ with their books, videos, and podcasts). Talking of birds, you’ve probably heard the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” This saying basically says that people of the same kind often hang out together. People spend time with people who are similar or they become the people they hang out always. What’s first come to your mind: Do you flock together because you are similar or do you become similar because you flock together?

Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time.” Have you read this quote? Yes? Good. No? Read it. Jim Rohn just gave the answer to my question. What matters is who you spend MOST time with (of course you may hang out with anyone you like, no discrimination). If the people you hang out with are positive, chances are high you’re positive too. If they’re complaining, chances are high that you complain too. “Rich people hang around with winners. Poor people* hang around with losers. Why? It’s a matter of comfort,” said Eker, somewhat hard-truth, “Rich people are comfortable with other successful people. They feel worthy of being with them. Poor people are unfordable with highly successful people. They’re either afraid they’ll be rejected or feel as if they don’t belong. To protect itself, the ego then goes into judgment and criticism.” Either you agree or disagree with Eker’s statement, this principle remains solid: If you want to get rich, model and associated with rich people. If you don’t have rich friends (like me, not yet so far), read their books – the books that they wrote or the books that they read or both. Or watch their videos on YouTube or listen to their talks and interviews on podcasts. Do it!

[*I need to note that the Harv Eker makes it clear in this book that he does not mean to degrade poor people. He does not think that rich people are better than poor or middle-class people. They’re just richer.]

I Have A Millionaire Mind!

Start With Why: Carrots and Sticks (Chapter 2 Summary)

This book summary series is taken from Simon Sinek’s Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action (2011). Your curiosity and knowledge is infinite, but your time is not. Read this summary – and you’ll be inspired!

Simon Sinek tells that there are only two ways to influence human behaviour: You can manipulate them or you can inspire them. Inspiration (see Introduction) is always better than manipulation. When companies do not have a clear sense of why their customers are their customers, they tend to rely on a disproportionate number of manipulations to get what they need. Here are typical ways of manipulations, Carrots and Sticks:

Price. For the seller, selling based on price is like heroin. The short-term gain is fantastic, but the more you do it, the harder it becomes to kick the habit. Once buyers get used to paying a lower-than-average price for a product or service, it is very hard to get them to pay more.

Fear. Fear – real or perceived – is arguably the most powerful manipulation and also very destructive.

Peer Pressure. When marketers report that a majority of a population or a group of experts prefers their product over another, they are attempting to sway the buyer to believing that whatever they are selling is better. Peer pressure works not because the majority or the experts are always right, but because “we fear that we may be wrong.”

Novelty. Real innovation changes the course of industries or even societies, like the light bulb, the microwave and iTunes. Adding a camera to a mobile phone is not an innovation – a great feature, but not industry altering. Novelty can drive sales but the impact does not last. “If a company adds too many novel ideas too often, it can have a similar impact on the product or category as the price game. In an attempt to differentiate with more features, the product start to look and feel more like commodities and, like price, the need to add yet another product to the line of compensate for the commodization ends in a downward spiral.”

Manipulations Lead to Transactions,
Only Inspirations Lead to Loyalty.

Manipulations don’t breed loyalty, although they can drive sales. Over time, they cost more and more. And they increase the stress for both buyer and seller. Loyalty is when people are willing to turn down a better product or better price to continue doing business with you. Loyal customers often don’t even bother to research the competition.

Addicted to the short term results, businesses today has largely become a series of quick fixes added on one after another. “Carrots and sticks work just fine for transactions occurring on the average just once, but if you want to build lasting relationships, you have to inspire people.” Manipulations are perfectly valid strategy for driving a transaction. But if you want loyalty, inspired people. It is the feeling of “we’re in this together” shared between customer and company, employers and employee, mentor and mentees that defines great leaders.

Change Your Life: Listen with Empathy and Openness (Don't Rush to Give Advice)

“It is the province of knowledge to speak,

And it is the privilege of wisdom to listen”
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

I’m still learning this: the key to providing emotional and moral support to people in need, is the ability to listen to what they are saying. When others need our help, my instincts, our instinct is to rush in and provide comfort and practical advice. But no matter how valuable the knowledge that we wish to share, no matter how well intentioned our desire to help, our first obligation is to provide the space and the opportunity for others to share experiences, feelings and thoughts. We need to beware of our inclination to think about our response while others are speaking, jump to complete their sentences, or interject with our advice – even if it is the best advice possible.

Learning from the experience and advice of others is extremely important – it is one of principal ways in which we grow as individuals and humankind. But it usually works only if those receiving the advice feel that they have been heard. Once a student told earnestly to me, “Thank you for listening to me.” I didn’t give any advice, I just listened and I asked questions. Well, if advice is needed and necessary, then give advice. But first – listen.

In the early 1970s, Robert Greenleaf coined the term Servant Leadership after noticing that the great leaders throughout history spoke and acted as servants. According to Greenleaf and other leadership scholars, one of the core characteristics of servant leaders is that they listen first and talk later. In fact, in become a servant leader, Greenleaf argued, a person has to go through “a long arduous discipline of learning to listen, a discipline sufficiently sustained that the automatic response to any problem is to listen first.” First we need to learn how to listen.

Don’t rush to give advice,

Listen with empathy and openness

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!

2. On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy by C.R. Rogers (Boston: Mariner Books, 1995)

Change Your Life: Appreciate and Learn from Those Around You

“Appreciation is to humans what the sun is for plants”

(Frank Iversen)

There are certain people – ones we know intimately and others we meet for the first time – who, for one reason or another, irritate us. It could be the way they act or talk, the way they look or walk. And while there is no need to always change our perspective about those people – leaving the scene or minimizing the time we spend with them could be the right thing to do – we lose many opportunities when we mindlessly succumb to the dictates of our unpleasant reactions.

Reflecting on the source of our dislike toward another person can reveal something about ourselves, because we often get annoyed by precisely those things we dislike in ourselves. Learning to appreciate things about the person who vexes us can help us cultivate the benefit-finder within, as well as develop deeper compassion – both of which will contribute to our relationships with others and with ourselves. What can you learn from others now?

Don’t allow others to upset you,

Appreciate and learn from those around you.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!

2. An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life by Dalai Lama (New York: Back Bay Books, 2002).

Creative Mind: The Creative Environment

Just as any plant needs a specific setting in which to strive, your mind needs a nurturing environment in which to maximize its creative abilities. The right creative environment will vary from person to person. Use these ideas to find yours:

Choose the best atmosphere. T.M. Amabile says that people are more creative and imaginative when they spend time around other creative folk. Hang out with people whose thinking inspires you. Find locations that energize you (Starbuck? Mine is State Library, surrounded by books already make me think smart and creatively). Play music that puts you in your desired mental state (Mine is Jason Mraz’s songs!). Paint your study walls your favourite colour. Experiment to find the atmosphere that most seems to free your mind.  

Give yourself time to “sit” with a question. Rushing can stifle your creative ability. When you allow time for thought to percolate, or you take breaks when figuring out a problem, you may increase your creative output. Change your environment, get some exercise, sleep; talk with a friend, work on something else. Some of the best ideas pop up when you have given your brain permission to go “off the job” for a while.

Let yourself play. People often hit upon their most creative ideas when they are exercising or just relaxing. Often when your mind switches into play mode, it can more freely generate new thoughts. Mental play can allow you to find a brilliant discovery in what seems like a crazy idea. For example, the idea for Velcro^TM came when an inventor examined how a burr sticks to clothing.

Write it down. Many people think of ideas while exercising, driving, or in the shower, upon walking, or even while dreaming. When an idea occurs – a solution to a problem or a new thought – write it down as soon as possible. To make sure your creative environment includes a way to write ideas, try keeping a pen and paper by your bed, your smartphone in your pocket (Do we need a reminder?), a marker attached to your notebook, or a notepad and pen in your car. Try it, make it a habit!

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

References and Suggested Readings:

1. Roger von Oech, A Whack on the Side of the Head (1998)

2. J.R. Hayes, Cognitive Psychology: Thinking and Creating (1978)

3. T.M. Amabile, The Social Psychology of Creativity (1983)

Nurture Creativity: Mixing with Like-Minded Creative People

Like laughter, creativity is contagious. There’s nothing like mixing with creative people to nurture your own creativity. Jenny Hare, writer of Unlock Your Creativity, explains, “[Mixing with creative people] is a kind of alchemy – as though your creative souls sparkle in the air separately at first as you recognize a common creative flair, and then are magnetized to each other and dance together for a while. Ideas flow and you both feel uplifted and energized, and when you part you look forward eagerly to riding on the wave of creativity you’ve mutually started.” It sound very lofty at first as you read this, but when you really have found like-minded people that you long to be with, you just can’t wait to come back to “dance together” again.

Even though I love to hangout alone talking to myself (it’s a real fun way to discover deep hidden thoughts inside my head), I understand that I also need to mix with people, especially with like-minded creative people. For example, I once attended a motivational talk seminars by Dr. Peter Chee, president and CEO of ITD world, at Damansara. The attendees are a diverse community of bright, caring, supportive, open-minded people who are generous with their time, their learning, and their attention. It's also a great group of creative people. We had teachers, artists, university students, business people, nurses, pharmacists, author and a retiree. We were like-minded in a way that we are hunger for success in life and pursuit for continuous learning. I was struck by how simply spending time with people in a variety of other creative endeavours re-sparked my own creative juices. I found myself being more curious, more open, more optimistic, more interested and more interesting – all as a result of attending the seminar and interacting with like-minded creative people.

One of the basic tenets of creativity is to do things differently, and to do different things. So if you need to reignite your creativity, do something completely new. A simply broadening your horizons by mixing with like-minded creative people will also broaden your mind. Thus, try something new today. Here are my suggestions. Look for communities within the things you liked to do. Ask your friends or check Facebook groups (social media are great tools to find community). You will make numerous friends and strong connections from these communities. Meet people at different places such as conferences, seminars, talks or class. If you’re an activist like my colleague, then join the peaceful rally. If you love to make a difference in your community, join others to volunteer for something others might find intimidating; homeless assistance or elder care for example. You will meet people who are made of sterner stuff, and you might just learn some more about yourself. When I say mixing with like-minded people it doesn’t mean that they have to have a dozen of common hobbies or interests like you, but one or two will do. Share ideas, having fun together and mutual encouragements is the point.

“Meeting with other creative people in a mutually encouraging atmosphere is a great tonic

for your soul as well as your creativity” (Jenny Hare)

Plus, mixing with like-minded creative people also can effects your happiness,

inspirations and sense of belonging.

God, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Nurture Creativity: Take a Sit, Drink Starbuck Coffee and Observe People

Pic from: jolingyeoh.blogspot.com, thanks!

“One very important aspect of motivation is the willingness to stop and to look at things that

no one else has bothered to look at. This simple process of focusing on things that are

normally taken for granted is a powerful source of creativity” (Edward de Bono)

Off day. After work. Free time. With a cup of hot Starbuck coffee or simply bring one from home. Find a place to sit. At the mall, food court, the street, football field, in front of the church with pen and paper. This one is fun – people watching can be very interesting! Try this: set aside some time to hang out alone at a nearby park (or anywhere public as I mention above) and observe those around you. Pay attention to how they walk and talk, what they're saying and wearing, and how they interact with others. This is fun.

As you observe them, begin to write down different details. Pay attention to your senses and write about things you see, hear, feel and smell. Don't spend too much time thinking hard, just write or take notice whatever comes to your mind. This practice can help you improve your observation skills. It also helps you learn to focus and be mindful of what's going on around you. When you practise this and begin to write it down or pay attention to what comes to your mind, you'll start using those creative thinking brain muscles that need to be exercised.

If you want to nurture your creativity, be mindful and observant. Too often we go through life missing many of the details, but if you make it a point to notice what’s happening around you, you’ll soon find many creative ways to use what you learn in your writing, artwork, or other creative endeavours. I practise and use this observation skill to help me to bring home the Bible lessons to my hearers by translating the ancient Scripture into daily life, to generate ideas for blogs and to improve my alertness of what’s around me (I can be so absorb in my own world sometime).

Do people watching with a cup of coffee or tea, whatever you prefer

God, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Nurture Creativity: Purpose Stimulate Breakthrough Idea

“A noble purpose inspires sacrifice, stimulates innovation and encourages perseverance”

(Gary Hamel)

I’m fascinated by the life of Thomas Edison. Anybody who can give the world the electric light, the microphone, the storage battery, the phonograph and a thousand other inventions, is worth studying. Historians say he was driven by one word: PURPOSE. Not pleasure, not popularity, not even personal gain, but – PURPOSE. Purpose stimulates breakthrough idea.

Here are some of the recorded principles by which he lived:

1)    Work to obtain all the knowledge you can about what you want to achieve,

2)    Fix your mind on your purpose. Persist! Seek! Use all knowledge you can accumulate or learn from others,

3)    Keep on searching no matter how many times you meet with disappointment,

4)    Refuse to be influenced by the fact that someone else tried the same thing and failed,

5)    Keep yourself sold on the idea that a solution to the problem exists somewhere, and that you’ll find it.

Then he added: “The trouble with most people is, they quit before they ever start.” Anyone can come out with idea, brilliant idea, but without purpose the motivation even to start will not make idea into a reality. Quitting is idea-destructor. Purpose, “fix your mind on your purpose” is a great idea-stimulator. Because of the vision and purpose that God puts in Nehemiah’s heart, he can rebuild the city wall. Nehemiah (of the Bible) didn’t conquer through brilliance (remember, most creative people in the history are school dropouts), he conquered through persistence, perseverance – and yes, prayer. He never quit. He have a purpose. In spite of the criticism, in spite of the pressure, he refuse to give up – that’s why he rebuilt Jerusalem. Purpose stimulate breakthrough idea.

What inspires you? What could you do to make this world a better place? Could you improve your local community in some way that contributes to the greater wellbeing and safety of its residents? Could you invent something or come out with ideas that will improve people lives and create awareness in your campus, church or community? Can you come up with a creative breakthrough that will challenge your potential and develop your personal skills? Will you use your God given mind and knowledge to come up with a way to raise funds for your favourite charities and causes?

What is your purpose?

Purpose stimulate breakthrough idea

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Nurture Creativity: Take More Time Offline

“Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status

for all of my friends that don't have windows” (Unknown)

Most of life is offline. Eating food and watching movies. Sleeping and bathing. Drinking coffee and reading books. All these daily activities are crucial for developing our creativity. I’m not telling you to stop online but asking you to spend more significant time offline. For me, I don’t check Facebook and email all the time (with exceptions). I try to limit my Facebook and social media time to one hour or less per day, and check e-mail once or twice daily except on Sunday (sometime I simply don’t check for few days!). I know a lot of bosses demands that their employees check email all weekend, but thanks God my boss is cool (so far).

You see, if you take more time offline, you can have more time to do something else. You will have more time to read book or magazine, more space to interact with people personally, you can take a break and pause from the desire to always online, you can observe – nature and people – around you, smell the flower, more time to play and exercise, etc. All these are human way of getting more creative. I think Marilyn Monroe says it well, “Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you're a human being, you feel, you suffer. You're gay, you're sick, you're nervous or whatever.” And – you will fail too, in relationship, business, project, games. Remember, human being makes mistake and failure, and failure is an essential aspect of creativity.

Take more time offline, be human again.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

How-to Generate Ideas #1: Engage in Observation Time

“Ideas come from everything” (Alfred Hitchcock)

You want to have great ideas? Well, it won't happen in a vacuum. You need some way of getting your brain to think in new and creative ways. Commit time to specific sessions where you stimulate your brain into thinking differently. Being a good Malaysian and sometime labeled as a loner guy, my favorite method is people watching. Alone, uninterrupted, relax and observe. A simple walk around Kuala Lumpur city or Kuching city can introduce me to exciting activity and behavior that makes me think anew. Sitting in the mall with Starbuck coffee also one of my favorites. Any crowded urban area, mall or park can do the same.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)