Change Your Life: Seek the Win-Win

In his book The 7 Habits, Stephen R. Covey puts #4: Think Win-Win

“There’s plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. An Abundance Mentality involves sharing prestige, recognition, profits, and decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity”

(Stephen R. Covey).

In most dispute – whether a minor argument or a major relational conflict – it is possible to find a solution that benefits both sides. When I set out to fight and defeat my opponent, I end up expending a great deal of energy and resources on destroying rather than on creating maximum value. Moreover, entering a dispute with a win-lose approach often leads to a similar approach being adopted by the other party. As a result, both of us may end up losing.

When I show goodwill and a desire to help, I invite similar behaviour from the other. When we put our joint resources, our mind and heart, to the task of increasing the benefits to the individual and the group, we stand a better chance of success – for all who are involved. The pleasure of winning when the other side loses is short-lived; the joy of a win-win outcome lasts a great deal longer, and often creates the basis for yet another round of positive experiences.

The next time you (and I have to remind myself very strongly because I’m naturally a very competitive person) interact with someone, whether the context is a cooperative or a ministerial or a competitive one, think about how you can both benefit, how you can both win.

Don’t focus on defeating the other

Seek the win-win

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:

1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!

2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (New York: Free Press, 2004)

Characteristics of a Creative Person #2: Open to as Many Alternatives as Possible

“The best way to get a good idea is to get a lots of ideas”

(Linus Pauling)

People who are closed off to new ideas and suggestions don’t make many friends. They also don’t make good bosses, employees, spouses, parents, teachers, ministers, youth workers, etc. Creative people are never threatened by new ideas. On the contrary, they encourage new ideas and outlooks. A creative person appropriates time to hear and absorb new and off-beat solutions.

Listening and considering the new and the unorthodox doesn’t mean that you must act irresponsibly and do weird things just to call yourself creative and inquisitive. You might end up adopting very little of what you hear and learn. However, being open to the earth-shattering proposal when and if it comes is how you make opportunity in life. As you know, people can’t actually manufacture opportunities. Making opportunity in life refers to the manner of living that remains open and ready to great new ideas when they emerge. Being vigilant and prepared is impossible when your eyes, ears and mind are closed.

Creative people are open to as many alternatives as possible

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

*I recommend you to read Danny Cox and John Hoover’s Seize the Day (Book-mart Press, 1994), “Step Two: Developing Strengths” page 77-118.

Barriers to Creativity #1: "The Right Answer"

Creativity, like common sense, is supposed to be common. Creativity is natural and spontaneous. Yet it is not exhibited as frequently as it should. Experts believe that there are several reasons for this. These reasons are called ‘Barriers to Creativity’. ‘Barriers’ are the thing that stop us from thinking creatively and the reason that make us not as creative as we should be.

Barrier #1: “The Right Answer.”

Much of our education is geared towards finding the right answer. While it may be true for certain subjects such as mathematics, in many other areas there is no one right answer. There is no such things as the most successful business man, the best fried chickens or the most effective form of exercise and diet. It depends on what the criterion is or what context we are talking about. Life for example is ambiguous. There are many right answers. It depends on what we want and what we look for. The problem with us is that we think there is only one right answer, and we stop looking as soon as we think we have found one. Hence the death of creativity.

Always look for second (or third) right answer.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)