12 Rules for Life #5 Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything that Makes You Dislike Them (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“Modern parents are simply paralyzed by the fear that they will no longer be liked or even loved by their children if they chastise them for any reason. They want their children’s friendship above all and are willing to sacrifice respect to get it. This is not good. A child will have many friends, but only two parents – if that – and parents are more, not less, than friends.”

“If a child has not been taught to behave properly by the age of four, it will forever be difficult for him or her to make friends”

(Jordan B. Peterson)

This is Peterson’s advice for parents, not mine. He said that parents are human beings too, meaning that they are not perfect and they can easily make mistakes which can affect their kids. Parents are not always as nice as they think. People often will take revenge on someone who messes them up, even on their own children, because it happens unconsciously. You might think, “Oh this is impossible, I’d never do anything to hurt my kid,” but all people have a “subconscious proclivity for tyranny” deeply rooted within them and that tyranny is more likely to be shown against someone who is much less powerful than you, for example, your children. So hunger, stress, fatigue or even a bad day at work are more than enough to make you lose your temper and become unreasonable over your children.

Peterson states some principles on the disciplinary procedure. #1 Parents should limit the rules, and #2 Use the least possible force to enforce them. They also #3 Need to understand how much they should be harsh, vengeful, arrogant, resentful or angry each time in front of their kids. Parents are somewhat of “proxies for the real world” who will teach and prepare their children to be socially desirable for the world outside [You can learn more about this Rule #5 in this YouTube video, CLICK HERE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krfhpUrE6ys&feature=youtu.be]

Children Absolutely Need Guidance from Parents so They can Thrive.

12 Rules for Life #3 Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“If you have a friend whose friendship you wouldn’t recommend to your sister, or your father, or your son, why would you have such a friend for yourself?”

(Jordan Peterson)

Almost every person has two kinds of families, says Peterson: #1 The one that he is born with; and #2 The one that he chooses by himself – friends. The selection of these important people is not to be taken lightly as they often have an impact on our lives. It is your obligation to keep away people who are making your life worse or hurting you. It is your right to decide who should be close to you and who shouldn’t. Peterson affirmed, “There are no ethical dilemmas about that.” If you have a friendship that you wouldn’t recommend to someone, then why are you still keeping it? End it, NOW!

So why many people are not making good choices? That’s because “surrounding yourself with good and healthy people is harder than the opposite.” Being good and healthy requires strength, daring and the determination to choose the difficult but right paths. Willing to take a risk. Consequently, standing up near such a person you have to be a strong, daring and determined person, ready to accept some harsh criticism from time to time which would benefit you. Good friends will do these things to you.

On the other hand, being around bad and unhealthy people is much easier to choose. Being on the bottom is much more convenient than being on top. Bad people will make you adopt laziness, easy unhealthy lifestyle, self-pity, tolerating being hurt or even hurting others for your benefit. So choose your friends wisely.

It’s Your Choice.

12 Rules for Life #2 Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“We deserve some respect. You deserve some respect. You are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world. You are, therefore, morally obliged to take care of yourself. You should take care of, help and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help and be good to someone you loved and valued. You may, therefore, have to conduct yourself habitually in a manner that allows you some respect for your own Being…”

(Jordan B. Peterson)

Peterson states the fact how most people have self-contempt and there are many times that they don’t even realize it. In fact, on most occasions, people take care of their family, friends and even their pets but neglects their own self. Of course, helping those you love and care about and take some responsibilities on behalf of them is very good, but we must realize that we must do the same thing for ourselves – for our own good too. Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, points out that ‘to ‘love one’s neighbor as thyself’ one must have some degree of self-love and self-care attached.” This may be something simple such as having self-respect and considering ourselves an important person with potentials, rights, and desires.

Besides, the more we look after ourselves the healthier and powerful we’ll be to support the ones we care. On the contrary, if we neglect ourselves then we’ll make a pattern of bad mistakes. Thus, our life will get worse not only for us but for the people around us too. A person’s actions echo sometimes in ways that cannot be imagined. An example may be Stalin's mother whose mistakes created ripple effects that affected millions of people (read Chapter 2 to know more).

Hey, Treat Yourself Good.

Story of Idea #4: How Mark Zurkerberg Passed his Exam by Using the Internet

“Founded in 2004, Facebook’s mission is to make the world more open and connected.

People use Facebook to stay connected with friends and family,

to discover what’s going on in the world, and to share and express what matters to them”

(Facebook’s Mission Statement since 2012)

Currently I’m reading Don Tapscott’s Grown Up Digital (a great book indeed!) and he told a story about Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg. In January 2004, Zuckerberg had a real-life version of a common nightmare. He was facing his first round of exams at Harvard University and he hadn’t studied or read anything the professor has assigned for a first-year art history course called Rome of Augustus. Zuckerberg hadn’t even gone to class during the term. He was too busy creating a cool computer program called Facebook that would help students get to know one another and share information. Now, a few days before the exam, Zuckerberg was, in his words, “just completely screwed.”

But he had an idea, straight out of twenty-first century computer science. He created a Web site and put pictures from the course on it, with a little discussion beside each picture. Maybe the other students could help out by filling in the blanks. Within 24 hours, Zuckerberg’s classmates helped out alright, with notes so cogent that everyone, Zuckerberg included, passed the test with flying colours. And according to Zuckerberg, the professor didn’t see it as cheating. Instead, he was “really pleased” to see the students collaborate in such a creative fashion.

After acing his art history test, Zuckerberg returned to his school project, Facebook, which has since become one of the most popular social networking sites in the world; on it, friends and acquaintances keep up with each other’s news. Zuckerberg know how to use social network and the Internet alright. He know how and why is it for, namely, to use it to connect and share information, to find and collaborate on projects or ideas of mutual interest. Do you know how to use social network and the Internet for good cause? Learn from Zuck. These are his and his team original ideas.

God, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s).

How-To Generate Ideas #2: Break Out of Your Normal Circles

“New people don't know all your thought patterns and old stories,

so you'll have to revisit your existing inner monologues.

The refreshing perspectives will help to surface new thinking

and possibly a lightning bolt or two” (Kevin Daum)

To spend a lot of time with the same people every day everywhere can get you in a thinking rut, fixed, usual, common and sometime – boring. “Always” is always an enemy of creativity. I’m not against normal fellowship or friendship, but I encourage you to expand it further. Same people with new friends are good. Getting to know your colleagues’ family is much deeper and rich. Hang out with people on the street or talk with strangers at the Kuching Waterfront will expand your views about life.

Take advantage of everyone that you know or want to know and connect with them. Choose someone who are different from you and start some exciting conversations. Chat with them on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Who know, as you talk, listen and think the casual conversations can help to surface new ideas to you. Try it!

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)