“Vulnerability
is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness,
but it appears that it’s also the
birthplace of joy, of creativity, or belonging, or love”
(Brene Brown)
To express myself – to
openly share my thoughts and feelings – is to risk being rejected and hurt by
others. But choosing not to express myself and to hide behind a façade, no
matter how impressive that façade is, is a form of self-rejection that leads to
unhappiness and discontent. While it is the case that if I am true to myself
others may not like what they see, it
is certain that if I constantly put
on a show, eventually I will not like myself.
Putting on a façade is
often an indicator of low self-esteem. But far from being a fix for the
problem, pretending to be someone I am not has the effect, over time, of lowering my self-esteem. Moreover, even
if others like what they see when I put on a show, it is not me that they like,
but the person I am pretending to be. When
I choose the real over the unreal, the authentic over the inauthentic – when I
express rather than impress – I no longer apologize for who I am. I allow my
inner light in Christ to shine.
Rather than constantly
being concerned about whether my love would be appreciated, I give love first.
Rather than concerning myself about how I would be perceived, I was authentic –
willing to let go of who I thought (or who people thought) I should be in order
to be who I am, who God made me to be. Rather than hide my vulnerabilities and
imperfections, I’m willing to express and reveal them.
Allowing ourselves to be
vulnerable, to let go of the mask of perfection, is very hard. Vulnerability
comes at a price – it can hurt a lot! But this cost is negligible compared to
the cost we pay when we suppress part of our humanity. When we do not allow
ourselves to be vulnerable, we are also supressing our joy and happiness and
the potential to cultivate deep and meaningful connections in our life. Can you open up a little more, reveal part
of your true self? Go on, be vulnerable, and be real!
Don’t always impress and conceal
Express and reveal. Stop pretending!
Express and reveal. Stop pretending!
Lord, Give
Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)
References:
1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness
by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!
2. The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s
Life, 10th Anniversary Edition by P.J. Palmer (San Francisco:
Jossey-Bass, 2007).
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