The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People #3 Put First Things First

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by late Stephen R. Covey, writer of the most-effective personal development book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (first published 1989). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Grow!

“To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it's all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.”

(Stephen R. Covey)

“Habit 3 is the personal fruit, the practical fulfillment of Habits 1 and 2.” What we’ve gained from Habits 1 (Be Proactive) and 2 (Begin With End in Mind) was how to react to our problems, fully understand ourselves and the goal we have in our life. Habit 3 is about learning to manage ourselves effectively by putting first things first in order to achieve that goal. This is what will give birth to a strong ‘Yes’ inside you that will give you the courage to say ‘No’ to other things.

First of all, we should categorize our activities and focus on specific ones. Covey uses Dwight Eisenhower’s tool for that:

Quadrant 1: Important and Urgent (Manage)
such as pressing matters, deadline-driven missions, crises, etc.

Quadrant 2: Important not Urgent (Focus)
like building relationships, planning, recognizing new opportunities, etc.

Quadrant 3: Urgent not Important (Avoid)
such as events that interrupt other events, meetings, etc.

Quadrant 4: Not Important or Urgent (Limit)
like addicted to social media, excessive entertainments, etc.

An effective and proactive person would prioritize dealing with not urgent but at the same time important activities. As a matter of fact, Quadrant 2 has many advantages when it is arranged properly. As long as you effectively keep dealing with it, Quadrant 1 will shrink, making your everyday life easier and less pressured. Quadrant 3, while it’s urgent, it’s not important which means that it’s not a big deal to neglect it. Quadrant 4 is usually for irresponsible individuals to prioritize.

Put First Things First is Very Important – What’s Your Priority?
So important that Covey wrote another book entitled First Things First

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People #2 Begin With the End In Mind

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by late Stephen R. Covey, writer of the most-effective personal development book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (first published 1989). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Grow!

There are people that struggle to try to achieve something only to end up realizing that what they were doing so long didn’t really have an important meaning in their life. As Covey states: “To Begin with End in Mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you’re going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.”

Imagine that you will live your whole remaining life based on the choices and actions you took this far and you attend your own funeral. Would you feel happy or sad about your life? Were your choices, actions or priorities compatible with what you were trying to accomplish in your life? “It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busyness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover that it’s leaning against the wrong wall.”

It is very important to visualize the “End” in your mind to guide you through your life. For example, if your dream is to become a good doctor and be remembered that you saved as many lives as possible, what’s the point in struggling to become the director of the hospital just for bigger salary, preventing you at the same time from performing more surgeries?

This habit is based on imagination –
the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes.

Write Your Own Personal Mission Statement, Envision the End in Your Mind!

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People #1 Be Proactive

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by late Stephen R. Covey, writer of the most-effective personal development book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (first published 1989). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Grow!

“Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are ‘response-able.’ They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior”
(Stephen R. Covey)

Covey categorizes people into two main groups: the ones that are proactive, and the ones that are reactive:

“Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase… Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.”

So, every one of us has a circle of influence and a circle of concern that both share the same center in our personality. As we encounter each part of the problem, we are to choose on how to react to it. If it is something we can’t fix no matter what, we stop concerning about it and focus on the other parts that we can change.

For example, if we live in a society that is characterized by unemployment, reactive people do nothing at all and being passive to the reality. Proactive people focus on what they can do to improve themselves, create new jobs (or part-time) and be more competitive.

Effective People are Proactive People

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: To Change Effectively, Change Perceptions (Introduction)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by late Stephen R. Covey, writer of the most-effective personal development book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (first published 1989). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Grow!

“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions”

“In order to be effective, you have to focus on changing some important things in yourself”

(Stephen R. Covey)

According to Covey, the most importing thing we have to change in ourselves is not our behaviour, but our character and perceptions. Changing our behaviour, which is what most people tend to do when choosing to change themselves, has only brief results. To be effective, we must put an effort into changing the way we see the world around us (perceptions).

Another important thing to mention is that people see other successful people around them and tend to try to become like them in the most effortless and brief way possible. If we really want to achieve our goal we must not focus that much on how long will that take, but firstly focus to change from inside out to be able to attempt it. For example, you can’t really start building a house without building the foundations first.

That’s what The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People will teach you step by step. The first 3 habits emphasize on improving your skills to become independent. The next 3 are focused on taking advantage of teamwork development, interacting with people and become interdependent. The last one is about improving what you’ve already achieved and growing bigger and bigger.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People are:

To Change Effectively, First Change Your Perceptions!

With Winning In Mind: The Mental Management System (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Lanny Bassham's With Winning in Mind (2012) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

First off, you have to take control over what you picture in your mind. Because whenever you picture something in your mind, you increase the likelihood of that thing happening in the future. You control the picture in your mind (and thus what’s happening in the future) by choosing what you think, talk, and write about.

At any given time, you are either picturing something positive or something negative in your mind. You are either thinking, talking, or writing about something positive or you are thinking, talking or writing about something negative. In other words, you are reinforcing certain behaviours. There are two kinds of reinforcement:

#1 Positive Reinforcement (YES!): You reinforce something you did well such as hitting a grand slam, meditating, studying, being nice to someone, or whatever. Reinforcing this positive action makes happening it again in the future more likely.

#2 Negative Reinforcement (Meh!): You reinforce something you did poorly such as missing a shot, wasting time on Facebook, getting in an argument with someone, or whatever. Reinforcing the negative actions makes happening it again in the future more likely (NOT what we’re after!).

How to Use Positive Reinforcement in Your Life (do this more often):

• Praise, applaud and celebrate yourself
• Praise, applaud and celebrate others (creates the same mental pictures)
• Talk about the positive things in your life (what went well in your life?)
• Get in the habit of catching yourself doing something right (and then praise yourself and tell yourself that “that’s like me” and that you “do this all the time”)

How to STOP using Negative Reinforcement in Your Life (stop doing this):

• Never whine, bitch or complain
• Don’t listen to other people whining, bitching or complaining
• Don’t get angry about your negative actions
• Don’t think/talk about the negative things in your life

This bottom line is: Stop focusing on the negative. Stop complaining, making excuses, bitching around, or in any other way negatively reinforcing what you don’t want in life. Instead be nice to yourself and others, focus on the positive, talk about the good things in life, and just generally try to reinforce what you want more of in life.

Have A Winning Mindset!