12 Rules for Life #5 Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything that Makes You Dislike Them (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“Modern parents are simply paralyzed by the fear that they will no longer be liked or even loved by their children if they chastise them for any reason. They want their children’s friendship above all and are willing to sacrifice respect to get it. This is not good. A child will have many friends, but only two parents – if that – and parents are more, not less, than friends.”

“If a child has not been taught to behave properly by the age of four, it will forever be difficult for him or her to make friends”

(Jordan B. Peterson)

This is Peterson’s advice for parents, not mine. He said that parents are human beings too, meaning that they are not perfect and they can easily make mistakes which can affect their kids. Parents are not always as nice as they think. People often will take revenge on someone who messes them up, even on their own children, because it happens unconsciously. You might think, “Oh this is impossible, I’d never do anything to hurt my kid,” but all people have a “subconscious proclivity for tyranny” deeply rooted within them and that tyranny is more likely to be shown against someone who is much less powerful than you, for example, your children. So hunger, stress, fatigue or even a bad day at work are more than enough to make you lose your temper and become unreasonable over your children.

Peterson states some principles on the disciplinary procedure. #1 Parents should limit the rules, and #2 Use the least possible force to enforce them. They also #3 Need to understand how much they should be harsh, vengeful, arrogant, resentful or angry each time in front of their kids. Parents are somewhat of “proxies for the real world” who will teach and prepare their children to be socially desirable for the world outside [You can learn more about this Rule #5 in this YouTube video, CLICK HERE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krfhpUrE6ys&feature=youtu.be]

Children Absolutely Need Guidance from Parents so They can Thrive.

12 Rules for Life #4 Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else Is Today (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“What you aim at determines what you see.”

“We only see what we aim at. The rest of the world (and that’s most of it) is hidden.”

(Jordan Peterson)

People always have the tendency to compare themselves to other persons who seem or happen to be more successful and have a better life. Even if you see or believe that someone you know is living a better life than yours, the comparison is meaningless and unhelpful especially when you are a grown up. Besides, you never know what different problems he or she is facing or whether he or she is very happy or not, since you only see a “slice of his life.”

What’s really beneficial, is to focus on yourself, on your life and its surroundings. Seek what’s bothering you in order to change or improve it and honestly think whether or not you are able to do something about it. If it’s not something within your power, then leave it alone and focus on something else with lower demands. Moreover, you can’t always change your life for the better in just a couple of days. Some things require some time and effort. Take one step every time and live by the thought that you are in a better condition/shape than yesterday and that you’ll eventually reach higher and higher – better and better – at least much better than you were yesterday!

Don’t Compare (with Others) but Compare (with Yourself Yesterday).

12 Rules for Life #3 Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“If you have a friend whose friendship you wouldn’t recommend to your sister, or your father, or your son, why would you have such a friend for yourself?”

(Jordan Peterson)

Almost every person has two kinds of families, says Peterson: #1 The one that he is born with; and #2 The one that he chooses by himself – friends. The selection of these important people is not to be taken lightly as they often have an impact on our lives. It is your obligation to keep away people who are making your life worse or hurting you. It is your right to decide who should be close to you and who shouldn’t. Peterson affirmed, “There are no ethical dilemmas about that.” If you have a friendship that you wouldn’t recommend to someone, then why are you still keeping it? End it, NOW!

So why many people are not making good choices? That’s because “surrounding yourself with good and healthy people is harder than the opposite.” Being good and healthy requires strength, daring and the determination to choose the difficult but right paths. Willing to take a risk. Consequently, standing up near such a person you have to be a strong, daring and determined person, ready to accept some harsh criticism from time to time which would benefit you. Good friends will do these things to you.

On the other hand, being around bad and unhealthy people is much easier to choose. Being on the bottom is much more convenient than being on top. Bad people will make you adopt laziness, easy unhealthy lifestyle, self-pity, tolerating being hurt or even hurting others for your benefit. So choose your friends wisely.

It’s Your Choice.

12 Rules for Life #2 Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“We deserve some respect. You deserve some respect. You are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world. You are, therefore, morally obliged to take care of yourself. You should take care of, help and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help and be good to someone you loved and valued. You may, therefore, have to conduct yourself habitually in a manner that allows you some respect for your own Being…”

(Jordan B. Peterson)

Peterson states the fact how most people have self-contempt and there are many times that they don’t even realize it. In fact, on most occasions, people take care of their family, friends and even their pets but neglects their own self. Of course, helping those you love and care about and take some responsibilities on behalf of them is very good, but we must realize that we must do the same thing for ourselves – for our own good too. Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, points out that ‘to ‘love one’s neighbor as thyself’ one must have some degree of self-love and self-care attached.” This may be something simple such as having self-respect and considering ourselves an important person with potentials, rights, and desires.

Besides, the more we look after ourselves the healthier and powerful we’ll be to support the ones we care. On the contrary, if we neglect ourselves then we’ll make a pattern of bad mistakes. Thus, our life will get worse not only for us but for the people around us too. A person’s actions echo sometimes in ways that cannot be imagined. An example may be Stalin's mother whose mistakes created ripple effects that affected millions of people (read Chapter 2 to know more).

Hey, Treat Yourself Good.

12 Rules for Life #1 Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

"To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood, where finitude and mortality are only dimly comprehended. It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality [it means acting to please God, in the ancient language]"

(Jordan B. Peterson)

Some people have bad posture and that is much more meaningful than you may have thought it would be. Peterson takes the behavior of lobsters as an example. Lobsters can change their behavior according to their serotonin/octopamine levels (Simply put, or maybe too simplistic, serotonin is a happy-hormone and octopamine function as "mobilizing the body and nervous system for action"). Lobsters fight all the time. When a lobster wins, its serotonin levels go up in contrast with octopamine levels. On the other hand, low serotonin/high octopamine lobsters are characterized as losers and are very likely to vanish at the first hint of challenge that would bring them trouble.

A similar effect applies to people. Peterson writes, "This is also true of lower ranking human beings. Low serotonin means decreased confidence, means closed in body language, means you're not gonna stand up straight with your shoulders back. Low serotonin means less happiness, more pain, more anxiety, more illness, a shorter lifespan. High spots in the dominance hierarchy and high serotonin levels are characterized by the opposite." As soon as we meet someone, we size him up to see where they fit in the social hierarchy. When serotonin levels fall, depression appears and also a tendency to form a hump (bend, bow) as you walk become visible to others. Instinctively, they are very likely to think low of you, making you one of the easiest targets if they decide to take advantage of someone. Acting like a loser will make people think of you as a loser. Fixing your posture may be very simple, but "very important at the same time to help you get started back up again."

So, stand up straight with your shoulders back and dare to express your thoughts and desires. You have at least the same right as others, if not bigger sometimes.

Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back!