Showing posts with label Childlike. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Childlike. Show all posts

Monday, October 15, 2018

12 Rules for Life #11 Don't Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding (Summary)


This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) series. One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“If you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of”
(Jordan Peterson)

This rule is essentially about masculinity (you might not agree with me). Peterson tells us that when children do all kinds of this crazy stuff on skateboards and handrails (or in Malaysia, play in the rain or at the playground or outside the house yard), we should let them be. Of course, it might be dangerous but it’s important for them to develop masculinity, competence, take risk and face danger. Normally, a lot of rebellious behavior in school is called “toxic masculinity” but Peterson believes that the benefits are bigger than the probably problematic situations.

When people are untrammeled and feel encouraged, they prefer to live in the edge. By living this way, they can be confident in their experience and confront chaos that helps them develop and grow. They’re made for that reason, to enjoy risk (some of them more than others). Besides, if they are overprotected, they will fail when something dangerous or unexpected will suddenly occur, which inevitably will happen sometime – eventually. So why not let them develop toughness? 

Let them Play... Dangerously

Monday, May 16, 2016

Let Children be Children: 6 Common Creative Killers


Many parents try to be perfect, but sometimes their best intentions can backfire without them even realizing it. Based on Victoria Wilson’s book Boost Your Child’s Creativity (2010), here are 6 common habits which can stifle child’s desire and ability to be creative:

Creative Killer #1: Helping

Young children often find it frustrating when they are learning something new. They can’t quite work out how to make their tree look right, or they hold the pen the wrong way up. But it pays dividends to sit back and let them carry on with whatever they are trying to do. If you insist on showing them exactly how to draw a tree, you’re denying them the opportunity to find their own way of drawing it, and to experiment and learn things on their own. You’re also inadvertently setting them up for failure – their tree isn’t going to be as good as yours, they are not going to be able to use pen as easily as you. This can make them feel even more frustrated. Your child will only gain confidence if you give them the opportunity to prove to themselves they can do somethings without your help.

Creative Killer #2: The Wrong Toys

Most houses have them, they toys with bright colours, flashing lights, a variety of songs and perhaps some Beethoven to help them learn the alphabet. Toys like these are fun, and have their benefits, but in terms of encouraging your child to be imaginative, they are creativity killers. Children really do stretch their imaginations further if they are making up their own songs, or playing with a cardboard cut-out sword rather than a flashing light sabre.

Creative Killer #3: Deciding What is Right and Wrong

 By telling a child the ‘right’ way to paint the rainbow, or that it’s ‘wrong’ when they bang all the keys on the piano at once, you are limiting your child’s early experiments. Picasso’s cubist artwork did not fit with the aesthetic standards of conventional art at the time and modern classical music might seem out of key and harsh to most listeners. Yet art and music critics have come to applaud these expressions of creativity which fall outside the norm by conventional standards. Creativity is all about thinking outside the normal rules and dreaming up new ways of doing things. This is exactly what your child is doing when he draws the world upside down or when she colours the sea pink.

Creative Killer #4: Planning Their Time

Children definitely need routine and structure in their day, but do be wary of planning your child’s time too rigidly. Try to allow time each day for ‘unstructured play’ where your child can choose his or her own activities freely and, where possible, be a little flexible in cancelling other scheduled activities if your child is really involved in what they are doing. If your child is thoroughly absorbed, they are probably contented and learning a good deal.

Creative Killer #5: Right Answer Syndrome

Children love to do things well and win approval, but beware of cultivating a need in your child to get things ‘right.’ One of the key traits of creative people is that they are good at ‘divergent thinking’, which means they can suggest lots of different potential answers of solutions to a puzzle or question. Of course, sometimes there is only one right answer. But try to present your child with situations and tests where they can learn that sometimes there are lots of different correct answers, and that different people’s responses are all equally valid.

Creative Killer #6: Competition

There is fierce debate amongst the educationalists about whether competition is good for children. When it comes to creativity, however, studies such as those by Professor Teresa Amabile at Brandeis University suggest that competition can negatively influence creativity. Competition automatically infers that judgement is being made over the creative product, which can make the child less willing to take risks and be inventive. In addition, Amabile and many other psychologists argue that children should be encouraged to enjoy creativity simply because it is an enjoyable and fulfilling process, not as a means to win contests or rewards. Much research suggests that rewarding a child simply for doing something creative eventually lessens their interest in doing creative activities for which they are not rewarded.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)


Tuesday, May 3, 2016

How to Nurture Your Child to Be Creative #5 Praise the Process, Not the Results


If your child runs to you proudly presenting a new painting or model they’ve made, it’s any parent’s natural instinct to offer praise. However, over-enthusiastic praise can be unhelpful. Studies carried out by psychologist Professor Wulf-Uwe Meyer from the University of Bielefeld, Germany, reveal that from a very young age children are very cynical about whether praise is genuine or not. His studies found that by the time they reach primary school, children can become cynical to the point where they no longer really believe any praise and therefore truly genuine appreciation begins to lose its value.

So, it is vital to focus on praising the creative process rather than the creative product. Well respected studies by psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, suggest that we should take care to praise the effort and the process of doing the work, rather than commenting on the results. This will help your child understand that their creative work will become better with practise. “For example, tell them you really love the colours they chose in this painting, or that you know how hard they worked on their guitar practice to make that song sound so beautiful,” says Dweck. Dweck also revealed that if you focus on praising the process in a sensitive yet honest way, your child is far more likely to feel confident in the creative work they do, to recover (more quickly) from setbacks and better enjoy what they are doing. “Ultimately the way you praise doesn’t just affect how confident your child is,” says Dweck, “but also how intelligent or skilled they will become.”


Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Monday, May 2, 2016

How to Nurture Your Child to Be Creative #1 Let Them Lead the Play


Latest research suggests that although it’s good for us to provide interesting objects and materials for children to play with, and to be on hand to help and play with your child, your child will be happier and more creative if you allow time for unstructured play – in other words, you sometimes need to take a step back and let your child decide what they want to do.

Your child will need access to resources to encourage play and so it is a good idea to set out several different toys and materials (paper plates, paints, glitter, Lego, etc.) which they can use as and when they wish during their playtime. Because they have initiated the play, they will be more actively engaged in whatever activity they are doing and as a result, they will learn more from it.

Allowing your child to lead their own play is not the easy option. Painting and crafts can certainly be messy and after all your careful preparation you may find you child is more interested in playing with teddy bears. This can be very frustrating, however, remember that your child is going to be more creative if they are making more choices about how they use the resources they’re provided with.


Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Is Your Child Naturally Creative? Nine Sure Signs that They Are


I believe that creative talents are due to nature (gift) and nurture (learn) at the same time. It is a blend of the two. But some children seem to be outstandingly creative from a very young age. Victoria Wilson in her book Boost Your Child’s Creativity (The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc; 2009) listed nine signs that your child may be creatively gifted or naturally creative:

1)    They’re Often Lost in Daydreams. A vivid imagination, and a love of fantasizing and being playful with thoughts is a strong sign of a creative child.

2)    They Connect Seemingly Random Objects and Ideas in Their Fantasy Play. Of course most children love imaginary play, but a key thing to look out for is if your child connects seemingly random objects or ideas into their play or stories. For example, they are an alien descending to sample the tomato soup on planet Earth, or their pretend horse loves chatting to the flowers on his mobile phone. This ability to make unusual connections is a key trait of very creative children.

3)    They Ask Lots of Unusual Questions. Most children go through a phase of asking ‘Why?’ to everything. But if your child is always asking questions and especially if he or she comes up with very strange, seemingly silly questions such as, ‘What would happen if the sun came back up at night-time?’ or ‘Why don’t apples grow from our fingers?’ it is a strong sign they are very creative. What they are also demonstrating is the ability to rearrange elements of thought to create new ideas and the inclination to question things others take for granted.

4)    They’re Often the Odd One Out; They Don’t Dress or Act the Same Way Others Do. It’s natural for children to want to be accepted by their classmates and friends, but some children will deliberately choose to be the odd one out no matter how much pressure there is to fit in. Often this is simply because they think differently to others, and thinking differently is thinking originally.

5)    They’re Resourceful and Good at Solving Problems. Creative children are, by definition, good problem solvers because they are flexible in the way they think and adapt quickly to different situations. Also, by definition, children who are creative will have lots of ideas and potential solutions to problems.

6)    They Love Playing Alone and Can Entertain Themselves for Long Periods of Time. Of course, children need some organized activities, and there’s even some evidence that a little carefully selected TV can stimulate learning and ideas. But a child who’s naturally able to come up with ideas is usually able to find plenty to occupy him or herself. In fact, it is very hard for children who are shuttled from one arranged activity to another, or put in front of the TV for long periods every day, to be creative.

7)    They’re Often So Absorbed in What They’re Doing, They Don’t Even Hear You. Being utterly absorbed in creative play or activities is to be in what famous psychologist Abraham Maslow labelled a ‘peek experience.’ This is the ability to ‘become lost in the present.’ It’s an important ability, particularly for young children who need constant supervision, because it allows them to free themselves from interaction and interruptions by others, while remaining in their presence, so they can really focus on their own thoughts, feelings and experiences. This is essential for creativity, because it allows children to form individual and original thoughts.

8)    They’re Rebellious. Of course, sometimes this is simply bad behaviour, but the instinct to think for themselves and to be individuals will drive creative children to question parents, teachers and books. It is down to you and your innate knowledge of your own child to determine whether a demand to wear a ballerina costume to bed is an act of creative expression, or a ploy to put off bedtime…

9)    They’re Often Both Extroverts and Introverts. Psychologists have found that very creative people can often be very outgoing and very shy at different times, whereas most of the population are either one or the other.

Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)


Friday, October 30, 2015

Change Your Life: Bring Humour and Lightness to Life


“A person without a sense of humour is like a wagon without springs.
It’s jolted by every pebble on the road” (Henry Ward Beecher)

I read psychologists use the term cognitive reconstruction to describe our ability to look at a situation from different perspectives. In difficult times and in tough situations it can be beneficial for us to look at things from a new angle, including seeing the humorous element – the lighter and brighter side – of our troubles. Of course, there are times when solemnity and gravity are the appropriate response, but more often than not we take ourselves – and life in general – too seriously, and we miss out on the comical and the playfulness of life. I personally think that Jesus was also a humorous and fun person to be with. If He was a serious man all the time, why do you think that children were drawn to him and wanted to be around him?

“After God created the world, He made man and woman,” writes Guillermo Mordillo, “Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humour.” Gordon W. Allport said, “So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” Regaining that spark of laughter and fun that we may have lost long time ago will make life more pleasant, contribute to our psychological and physical health, and will, of course – make us more pleasant to be around. “Anyone without a sense of humour is at the mercy of everyone else” (William Rotsler).

Don’t treat life with solemnity and gravity,
Bring humour and lightness to life.
Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

 References:
1. Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create You Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD (New York: The Experiment, 2012) Buy this book!

2. Exuberance: The Passion for Life by K.R. Jamison (New York: Vintage, 2005).

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Characteristics of a Creative Person #1: Have a Curiosity and a Childlike Sense of Wonder


“Cultivate your garden. Do not depend upon teachers to educate you…
follow your own bent, pursue your curiosity bravely,
express yourself, make your own harmony” (Will Durant)

There’s a lot of talk these days about reconnecting with the child within us. Whether you agree with the psychological objectives of such a plan, it can’t be argued that children have healthy curiosities. Through a child’s eyes, the world is a fascinating place, constantly full of new discoveries and revelations. In our adult attempt to stay on the grow, what could be better than to re-establish the type of enthusiasm with which a child experiences the world?

With curiosity you are inspired to search for hidden strengths and abilities. With curiosity you are motivated to look beyond your present circumstances for any reason. Thanks God for people like Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Madame Curie, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein and so many others were curious people with a childlike sense of wonder.

If you’ve allowed yourself to become cynical and closed off over the years, it’s time to re-stimulate your curiosity factor. Reading more, travelling, initiating discussions with interesting people you admire and purposefully getting involved in new and unusual activities and hobbies are just a few ways to get you inquisitive juices flowing again. Peter F. Drunker, world’s top management guru, once suggested that you walk away from your situation, bend over and look back between your legs. He contends that once you look at situation backwards and upside down, you’ll have a more functional perspective.

Creative people have a curiosity and a childlike sense of wonder
Lord, Give Us Today Our Daily Idea(s)

*I recommend you to read Danny Cox and John Hoover’s Seize the Day (Book-mart Press, 1994), “Step Two: Developing Strengths” page 77-118.

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Thinking Creative Question Action Change Your Life Essential Thinker Series Focus Positive Secrets of the Millionaire Mind Harv Eker Success Attitude Choice Learning Nurture Creativity Play Mindset Perspective Time Experience Habit Observation Curious Different Failure Hardworking How-to Generate Ideas Imagination Problem-Solving Wealth 12 Rules for Life Children Inspiration Jordan Peterson Relax Rich Break the Rules Change Perseverance Reading Risk-Taker Seeing Albert Einstein Barriers to Creativity Confidence I Wonder Series People The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck (Mark Hanson) Connection Happiness Money Possibilities The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Thought With Winning In Mind Asking Books Character Characteristics of Creative Person Is Technology Changing Our Brains Knowledge Practical Process Writing Believe Challenge Childlike Criticism How to Choose Optimism How to Nurture Your Child to Be Creative Innovative Listening Purpose Relationship Responsibility Story of Idea Thomas Edison Value 7 Climate Facts You Need to Know Communicate Control Enjoy Freedom Fun Idea-Quote Meaning Mistakes Open Mind Opportunity Optimistic Original Resourceful Roger von Oech Talent As A Man Thinketh Combination Commitment Discovery Don't Give Up Dream Energetic Environment Friendship Genius Give Up Growth Leonardo da Vinci Picture Playground Quiet Space Random Reason Start With Why (Simon Sinek) Steve Jobs Understand Walk Wisdom Yew Kam Keong Ability Ambiguity Behavior Crazy Daydreaming Decision-Making Example Facts about Creativity Faith Fear Feeling Goal Hearing Humour Improvement Independence Intuition Isaac Newton Lead Love Motivated Nature Non-Conformist Passion Potential Respect Savor Life Self-Image Stephen R. Covey The Power of Habit Word Alternative Application Awareness Common Blocks to Creativity Conversation Discipline Dynamic Emotion Encouragement Expectation Feedback Flexibility Idealistic Jack Foster Leader Logic Mindful Music Negative Performance Persistence Physical Reinforcement Result Right Answer Sixth Sense Society Talking The Human Body Tony Buzan Vincent Ryan Ruggiero Vision Adventurous Appreciate Attention Be Yourself Beautiful Christopher Columbus Conscious Daring Desire Edward de Bono Empathy Excuses Exercise Financial Galileo Goodness Hardship Help Henry Ford How to Be Innovative Humble IQ Jesus Kindness Laugh Let's Get Started! Memory Mental Rehearsal Michael J. Gelb Multitasking Nicolaus Copernicus Patient Pen and Paper Planning Power Praise Prejudice Proactive Progressive Quality Reality Recording Rejection Routine Sharing Simplicity Sleep Social Media Stand Firm Starbuck Stimulate Strength Stress Studying The Internet Theology Think like A Fool Touching Unpopular Usefulness Victor Hugo What If Win-Win Zig Ziglar 6 Common Creative Killers 9 Types of Intelligence A. Samad Said Affirmation Alexander the Great Aristotle Association Assumption Austin Kleon Balance Benedict de Spinoza Benjamin Franklin Bette Nesmith Graham Bill Gates Blessing Brainstorming Business Carpe Diem Chaos and Order Cicero Colonel Sanders Compliance Concentration Contribute Copernicus David Hume Descartes Desiderius Erasmus Development Diversity Don't Try Download Drug Elaboration Eleanor Roosevelt Enthusiasm Error Ethics Eurika Experiment Explore Extrovert Fluency Francis Bacon Free Book Generalist Giving Back Heroes Hopeful Hormones How to Spark Your Creative Mind How-to Maximizing a New Idea Howard Schultz Hunting Illustration Information Integrity Intention Interruption Introvert Investment James Webb Young Jason Mraz Jean-Jacques Rouseau Jim Carrey Jogging John Locke Jurgen Wolff Juxtapositions Legacy Leon Ann Mean Leon Trotsky Light Liquid Paper Machiavelli Management Manifestation Manipulation Marcus Aurelius Mark Zurkerberg Martin Luther Marty Neumeier Maturity Mental Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Mind Maping Miracles Mission Statement Modeling Money Blueprint Mood Move On My Top 17 Book on Innovative and Creativity Lists Navigation Skills Niccolo Machiavelli Offline Ontology Ordinary Pablo Picasso Pain Paracelsus Paradigm Paradox of Creative People Parenting Passive Income Peace Perception Philosophy Plato Political Practice Priority Privacy Procrastination Productivity Promote Pythagoras of Samos Rational Rebellious Receiving Reformer Rene Descartes Resilience Resource Myopia Rest Reverse Robert Korn Running Safe Saving Say No Scientific Method Scott Belsky Self-Gratification Selling Seneca Skeptic Slow Down Smelling Social Skills Socrates of Athens Soichiro Honda Specialist Spider-Man St Anselm St Augustine of Hippo St Thomas Aquinas Steal like An Artist Stubborn Suffering Synergize Tasting Technology Thales of Miletus The Creative Environment The Empiricist The Mozart Effect Thomas More Tok Nan Toy Tradition Truth Uniformity Unique Universe Unorthodox Volunteer Walt Disney Wildlife Wonder Xenophanes of Colophon